This morning I was honored to be part of a conversation about courage and strength. These qualities seem to have a natural nemesis: fear. So, it got us talking about fear. One of the questions posed was, “What would your life look like if you lived without fear?”. My immediate response was, “I have no idea.”. The ladies gave such eloquent, beautiful, thought out answers. Some said they would live more boldly and do more. Another shared that they would have more joy because they wouldn’t be so fearful of what the future holds.
This question has lingered within me all day.
My conclusion: I would have so much FUN!
So, here’s the deal. Without overthinking or going into some internal weird place, I came to the realization that most of my decisions are fear based. Like, car dancing. Yes! You know when you really want to or you are, but then a car pulls up next to you and you either stop or simmer way down? Why? Well, honestly, deep down, it’s a fear they will laugh or think I am silly or crazy. I don’t even know this guy! Fear. It creeps in all too easily.
I began to pay attention to my every day, my ordinary. Do I compliment the stranger on her cute shoes? Do thank the cashier for always being so kind. Do I wear those new earrings? Do I strike up a conversation with the sweet lady behind me in the Starbucks line? I have a thing about complimenting others, particularly strangers. Ninety-two percent of the time I do it. I just do it! Once I really felt the Lord asking me to tell a woman how beautiful she was. I heard others around making comments that were less than kind. I found myself entangled in fear and I didn’t do it. I regret it and think about to this day. That was seven or eight years ago. I tend to think, how would I respond if a stranger approached me and said that? I think, I would be so blessed and it would make my day!
What do I do when I see people car dancing? I watch, I smile, and sometimes a laugh pops out. They are so joyful, so into the song, so not caring about what anyone else thinks. They are my inspiration. I will forever and ever car dance. I will do it when I feel like it. I will do it when I don’t feel like it, because car dancing can change my whole day. It can turn my sadness or too seriousness or my anger into joy. Fear, in my life, is the illusion that I have control over things that I do not. No, I cannot control how a stranger responds to my smile or kind gesture, but I can be courageous and do it. No, I cannot jump into the future and see how my close friend will respond to a hard conversation we need to have, but I can have the strength to do it anyway. Living without fear would open up the floodgates to passion, joy, and adventure I can’t even imagine. I don’t think I’ll ever nail it, completely, but I will die trying. I’m going to start with dancing, in the car.