The older I get, the better I listen and the more I desire to. Just today I had the rare opportunity of uninterrupted time with one of my favorite people. Now, don’t go crazy thinking I didn’t talk, I surely did. But my favorite part wasn’t talking or what I had to say or my excitement to tell her something. The best thing was just listening to her. She is frankly honest while remaining tenderhearted. It’s something I have always admired about her.
We live far from our family so visits are typically 5-10 days and just seem to fly by. We are currently blessed to have an extended visit with them and let me just say I am in absolute heaven on earth. What I want to do the most of during this precious time is to – listen. I want to hear stories and hearts. I want to learn and absorb each word those I love have to say. As I write this, it excites me to talk a whole lot less and just be still. I think listening requires a stillness we don’t practice enough. Our current state of stay at home orders and social distancing and literally the covering of our mouths is not what I’m referring to. Our nation, our roads and highways, our stores, our community gatherings have been not only still but put to a complete halt. That doesn’t mean our minds, hearts, opinions, and judgments have been. To be honest, mine have been loud and angry and all over the place – the complete opposite of still.
In my study and meditation on listening I have concluded, it is a gift. A gift both to give and to receive. My favorite synonym of listen is the word accept. See, to truly receive a gift you have to accept it and when you give a gift your joy is in their acceptance of it. How beautiful is that!
I have also been thinking a lot about the difference between hearing and listening. Hearing takes no effort; it’s just sound received by our ears. Listening requires active attention; it takes action. The definition of listening is this: to give attention with the ear; attend closely. So, when people say they want to be heard-I think they really want to be listened to. Just like the little guy from the famous YouTube video “Listen Linda” (oh my goodness, if you have not seen it, stop right now and go watch!) he did not want her to just hear him, he wanted her to LISTEN!
Right now our world is in such division. Let’s be a people who choose to truly, actively, and respectfully listen-even when we don’t agree. Actually, especially when we don’t agree.
Here are a few Scriptures to encourage us:
But whoever listens to Me will live in safety and be at ease, without fear of harm. Proverbs 1:33 (NIV)
“Ho! Everyone who thirsts, Come to the waters; And you who have no money, Come, buy, and eat. Yes, come, buy wine and milk Without money and without price. Why do you spend money for what is not bread, And your wages for what does not satisfy? Listen carefully to Me, and eat what is good, And let your soul delight itself in abundance. Incline your ear, and come to Me. Hear, and your soul shall live; Isaiah 55:1-3a (NKJV)
Wise men and women are always learning, always listening for fresh insights. Proverbs 18:15 (MSG)
Answering before listening is both stupid and rude! Proverbs 18:13 (MSG)
A question I need to ask myself is who do I not want to listen to or even whom am I unwilling to listen to? Sometimes it’s a distinguished individual, but more often than not, it’s my kids or a close friend or a new friend. I listen to and read much of Jennie Allen’s work and one thing right now that is sticking out to me from her is: Keep the End in Mind. I can only see right in front of me sometimes, only what is going on now and how I do or don’t like it; how comfortable or uncomfortable the situation or conversation can be. Let’s take Jennie’s advice. Let’s be willing to listen because it’s not just the right now that we are listening for; it’s the trust we are building with others so we are a safe and trustworthy place to come to. Listening is a big deal – people! Let’s be known for being good listeners.